Chaos Kid Letter to Eminem 2009 (from MySpace)

I just saw this video for the first time today. It really got into my heart and soul. I haven't heard the 'Relapse' album yet but plan on checking it out real soon.

All I gotta say is: 'Damn. This is the best thing I've heard by Eminem in a long time!' I knew you had it in you, brother. And if you are serious about having that kind of heart for the people of Detroit and its' struggles, please: let's let bygones be bygones and get in touch with your old-school homie and let's rap about what we can do to help Detroit.. and the nation, in general.

I miss you, man. You know my broke-ass has been down in Detroit doin' what I can to help out on a grass-roots level for a long time but it just got too much for me not really having the ends to help out the way I wanted to. So I felt like I had to go to a city with more economic vitality and opportunity to help myself out but Detroit is my home and is in my heart and I want to see it come up as much as you do!

I know I've been a little too radical and extreme with some of my views, but I've really come down to earth a lot more in the last couple of years and you know through it all my heart has always been in the place of wanting to do what's right. Look at my lyrics to the 'Chaos Kid and 'The Some of Wizdum' stuff. I've always been passionate about wanting to fight injustice. And I heard from Butter that you think I actually got paid to do that interview with The Source. All I gotta say is, who you gonna believe? Whoever it was that told you that (probably someone on your payroll that's trying to disconnect you from your real friends) or your real old-school homie from back in the day?

Sure, I was naive with not knowing about the whole beef that was going down between you and The Source so when they contacted me, I let them get me off track from the true reason why I agreed to do the interview in the first place - to clear up the issue on those tapes that were leaked by some asshole and they misrepresented and misquoted me, too. So how can you believe anything that was written in that interview? I'm being truthful in saying that since it was their objective (unbeknownst to me or I would've never agreed to do the interview in the first place) to slander you and paint you in a bad light, they were asking me questions to add fuel to their fire - like - 'don't you think he could be doing a better job at keeping in touch?' and stuff like that. And I was a little upset about how hard it was becoming to get ahold of you - having to go through managers that seemed to be paid to filter out almost anyone and everyone - constantly being questioned and treated like I was just a fan - and all this despite the fact that you had been in contact with me a couple of times and were encouraging me to get in contact with you - and so some of that anger eventually spilled out. I wish I could take it back -

if I could do it over again, knowing what I know now, I wouldn't have done the interview, of course. And it was a learning experience: don't tell the media anymore than you have too and don't act out of anger 'cuz you might say or do something you end up regretting. But I DID NOT get paid to do it. The reason I did the interview when THEY FOUND ME was to defend you, I and Bassmint Productions by revealing what I felt to be the truth about the nature of those tapes. I told them repeatedly through the course of the interview that that's why I was doing the interview and that those were the main facts that they needed to print. So I hope you understand that and know that I never meant any harm or ill-will towards you. And for the things I said out of anger; I'm sorry. I hope you can understand why I was frustrated and maybe there's other things I don't know about - issues that you have with me - if there are: COMMUNICATE. We can work it out. I've always done my best to keep it real with you and tell you how I felt even after you blew up, so I don't want you to be involved with me on any level you feel uncomfortable with. I respect you, your intelligence, your talent, your passion, your drive, your work-ethic.

I look up to you in all these ways and when you put out videos like this, it really gets into my heart and makes me think that we DO have common ground enough to do something really positive together. To create a win-win situation. Not only for us, but for helping Detroit, too. And by spreading that positivity, it will come back to us for sure.

I know that you, just like me, are only human and all the flaws that go along with being a human being. To make a mistake. To have regrets. To have issues in your life that are challenges that you are trying to work through. It's a spiritual battle, homes. Inside, in all of us, to fight the negativity and let the good win and to shine on through with the light. To not let anger or resentment destroy our energy, to learn to live in the moment more, to let go of the past and forgive. And so I recognize that you are only human and struggle with these things just like I do. But I have always admired your strength. And so I'll ask you: is there strength in forgiveness? In recognizing the humanity in others, that we are all only human and make mistakes? 'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone'. That sort of thing. Well, I'm asking for your forgiveness in whatever it is I've done that I need to make amends for.
I've explained the thing with The Source and I ask for your forgiveness in regards to that. And if there's anything else I need to make amends for, just tell me what it is. I'll be humble enough to look at it honestly and if I need to apologize for it, I will. And if it's only a misunderstanding, we can clear it up.

I'll tell you straight up, I've had some negative feelings about how things have turned out. More than anything, I just wish you could put yourself in my shoes more. I've tried my hardest to put myself in your shoes and I understand that I'm not perfect - far from it - so that's why I'm trying to admit to my flaws. But everyone has to take responsibility for their own actions. When we were growing up doing this together, we always said whoever made it through the door first would help the other one out. And then when you were the first one to make it through the door when I tried to get ahold of you, for whatever reason, I couldn't. I know it wasn't all your fault because you did come around a couple of times and expressed an interest in helping me. But then when I tried to get ahold of you, you would never get back to me when I needed to talk to you and it became harder and harder to get through. Like I said, I've tried to put myself in your shoes, I can imagine how stressful it must be to deal with that level of fame and commitment and everybody wanting your time and feeling constantly pulled in a bazillion different directions.. but when you offer the help and then you're not around - I mean, put yourself in my shoes, do you see how I started to feel resentful? Especially after all the time we spent together growing up and the things we said to each other? And then after The Source interview, you got back in touch with me and I helped you through the court proceedings and everything and you made it seem like we were making amends but then again: you disappeared and I come to find out that you believe I got paid to do The Source interview and think I'm an enemy. What?!

So my point is, you have had your issues with me, and I have had my issues with you.. but I don't know about you, but I feel like life has been really teaching me the importance of Forgiveness and I feel like I've grown alot over the last few years.. so don't you think it's time that we put the past behind us - working out whatever issues need to be worked out - and try to see how we can put our heads together to do something positive? You know my heart - and I feel like I know yours, too. Remember the lyrics to 'Soul Intent'? When was the last time you listened to that song, homes?

So, for real, I just wanted to say I found this video very inspirational and heartfelt and I have some ideas about things we could do to help Detroit. Our hearts are really on the same page. We may have some differing ideas sometimes, but let's work it out. So I'm stepping up to the plate. I'm here for you, man. I'll bring my ideas to the table, you tell me what you think, and we'll come up with something we both can agree on and feel good about.
I remember you personally telling me you think I'm an intelligent person and that I always inspired you growing up and you always thought I would be the one to make it, too. I'll never forget that and YOU inspire me with pieces like this, homes and always did when we were growing up, too so how about helping a brother out, putting the past behind us and continue to inspire each other where we can create a win-win situation? Soul brothers. What's up?

Hope to hear from you.

your long-lost friend,
James (Snafu aka Chaos Kid)

James Deel Chaos Kid

Santiagosnafu wrote:
This is Santiago Snafu (aka Chaos Kid): First of all, I would like to Thank all the people who have posted on this forum 4 their concern & Kind Words. However, there are a few people who are at least a little confused, so here are the FACTS 2 clear up the confusion:

1) Chaos Kid has re-established his connection to Eminem as a Friend & Fellow Musician. I believe this is mostly the result of the Efforts I have made to 'Reach Out' as of recently. I was inspired to try to reach out and write my letter to Em after hearing Eminem's 'Letter to Detroit'. The title of the letter I wrote is called 'Eminem's Letter to Detroit & Chaos Kid's Letter to Eminem'. You can view both the original letter I wrote, which is posted as a blog, and Eminem's 'letter to Detroit' which is a video he did, from my myspace page here:

2) This 'letter to Detroit' Em wrote in addition to his awesomely heartfelt, soulful & sincere song 'Beautiful' off his new album 'Relapse' is what inspired Chaos Kid to try to get back in touch with Eminem.

3) Chaos Kid and Eminem did music together all the way through high-school as they were both growing up from 1988-1992 and performed together as Bassmint Productions & Soul Intent. They even did a few live shows together as late as 1994. Even after they stopped doing music together because of artistic differences at that time period, they were still friends and Marshall was living at Chaos Kids house as a room-mate up until the point he was discovered by Dr. Dre & signed to Interscope Records. You can check out some of the old Chaos Kid material & some of the old Soul Intent material here:

4) Also, in an effort to clear the air and expose the True Nature behind the infamous 'suckerin rhyme' sessions, there is a myspace page of our old freestyle sessions goofing around here: Someone got a hold of one of the old tapes & leaked it without our permission attempting to create negative controversy. This person also sold the tape to 'The Source' who then tried to use it as a claim that Eminem was 'racist'. At this point, The Source tracked me down and called me asking to do an interview about the tapes. I had no idea The Source & particularly Benzino had a personal problem with Eminem & were trying to destroy his career. I actually heard about the tapes being leaked by listening to NPR! So when they called, I thought they were just an unbiased Hip-Hop magazine looking for the truth. After I did the interview and the article came out, I was shocked to learn that they printed next to nothing in terms of what I told them was the True Nature of the tapes and they also misquoted and misrepresented me. I agreed to do the article to Defend Marshall, myself & Bassmint Productions as NOT being racists and explain the nature of the tapes! All the drama & controversy that followed as a result of the haters who leaked the tape and The Source, etc. created a strain on Eminem and I's connection for awhile as certain people were misinforming and misadvising him 2 not b in contact with me.

5) Eminem is a very busy man, yet he & I are both happy to finally be talking again. We are discussing perhaps doing some music in the near future together and even the possibility of a 'Soul Intent' reunion album which would include all the original members: Eminem & Chaos Kid on lyrics and vocals, Manix on production, & DJ Buttafingaz on cuts.